Monday, February 23, 2015

Meditation reveals the flaws but is also generally blissful

I used to be a miserable man and I still am to a certain extent. Life seemed like an endless stream of broken promises, but let's not go there. Instead, let's focus on the upside - life is full of tremendous potential to be completely satisfying. How do we glimpse this satisfaction? Well, meditation is kind of a gateway. Unfortunately, meditation takes us on a journey and part of that journey is to see the flaws of what we have become - all the mean things, the greed, the hatred, the disappointment, the longing. Not so brilliant. These are the underlying currents that bring us unhappiness. They are the conflict, the root of our automatic thoughts. They are not us, just what we have learnt. If we persist with meditation we can get underneath this layer of  **** and start to reveal the true nature of our being, which is pretty decent. There is nothing wrong with us. We are blissful, at home. We have our slippers on and the dog is fed. You get the idea.

If we are lucky meditation gives us some super wonderful experiences right from the get go, but these are just the tip of the iceberg. Why settle for a quick hit when there's a whole continent of niceness just over the hill? Put away the slippers and strap on a pair of wings instead.

Thursday, February 19, 2015

The vast distance between you and yourself

It's there. 

Embrace the contradiction. None of us perfect. We make it up on the spot and then spend hours trying to fix it. It's not a problem, it's a feature. 

Laughing is a wonderful cure,

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Now what should I do with my life

So I've had the massive multi-year decade spanning illness and there's a galactic black hole in my cv and my children have nearly grown up and I'm left with the question: what next?

I'm sure something will turn up, but for now I'm kind of at that point. Adrift.

This is the reference moment.

Thursday, February 05, 2015

The unbroken chain

There is sometimes a pleasant relief in realising that we are all part of an unbroken chain stretching back before the dinosaurs and into the misty soup of frothy bacteria. There is the fun in knowing that a few thousand generations ago your grandmother was a fish and that we are part of a fabric of life that is diverse and compelling. There is no will in this process, it is semi automatic, a wondrous machine that keeps on rolling because it can. We are alive for the briefest of moments, moving through the system. What we think is irrelevant. We are here, we are laughing, we are smiling and we are visible from space. What more could we want?

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Thought experiment regarding transferring a person into a computer

This is a popular science fiction theme - man builds a computer, man transfers himself into the computer, the computer is him. This is an appealing fantasy but let's think it through. If I did it, which part of me would be transferred?

My memories - I don't really use them that much. They are generally horror stories so I wouldn't want them dragging me down in my computer wonderland.

My personality - this is hard to pin down. I respond differently to different people in different situations. Perhaps there is a true me in there somewhere, but which one is it. My personality also varies depending on my exhaustion, whether I stubbed my toe or not, and whether I managed to get what I want. I wouldn't want to take these in with me because most of them get on my nerves anyway.

My intellect - there is nothing special here.

My soul - by this, I mean the essence of me. The essence of me is derived from the world around me. The world is in me as much as I am in the world. In a sense I am already in computers as the information that surrounds us on the Internet - you can already find me in there, because the way we think is already there. There is nothing unique about me in that way.

So, realistically, there is nothing much worth transferring. I am who I am in the moment I'm in surrounded by the sensory world. This can't be transferred because it has already gone.

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Your mind is perfectly happy without you

When you examine what makes you sad, there is generally one common theme - you. This might seem a bit of a useless insight, but it is quite handy when you realise that 'you' is a kind of moveable feast - it changes with the weather. Indeed, days fly by quite nicely if you manage to drop the incessant you-ness and instead open up your awareness into the magical spaciousness of the mind. At some point you might come to realise that the reason this works is because 'you' are not really a thing at all, just a constellation of ideas coming together at any particular moment to 'get your way'. Then the real wonder begins.

I realise that I have been 'excessive' with the quote marks in this post, but it felt like the right thing to do.

Monday, January 19, 2015


I sat still for a few moments and noted the sensations it was feeling, mainly from my body but also in reaction to my thoughts. I rated pleasant feelings as 1, nothing feelings as 0 and unpleasant feelings as -1. As you can see it changed a heck of a lot. These are pure sensations. You might notice that there is a lot going on and that I am not actually in control of any of it - they mostly just happen. 

So, if you've been reading my last few posts, then you'll know that we naturally want pleasant things all the time, and yet now it seems as if the pure sensation of pleasant arises for no real reason at all. There's our problem right there. Want does not always get. You get what you're given. Now I'm starting to sound like my mother ...