Showing posts from October, 2011

Chronic fatigue and the afternoon nap

This is something I wanted to write about mainly because I have been struggling with it for a few years. I tend to be a morning person and I like to get out in the mornings to get things done. This leaves me with a long day and, as part of my pacing schedule, it was highly useful to have a good rest in the afternoon. However, after a while I came to see this afternoon rest as something problematic - it was consuming a large part of my day and preventing me from doing things. So, I made various attempts over the years to try and eliminate it and shorten it, but these efforts caused a lot of frustration because I would always feel worse afterwards. Bummer.

Then, over the last few months, I changed my attitude to the afternoon nap and decided to accept it as part of my life - it is a good thing; it refreshes me and gives me a chance to recharge my batteries before the evening. This acceptance has freed me from the struggle and as a result I feel much better in general. Hurray!

I explaine…

Life is a scarring process

Having been in a serious incident recently, it never ceases to amaze me what life will throw up - just when I thought I was getting to point A, a whole new set of difficult conditions blows in to take me away to some unpleasant place. It feels as if this 'being' is getting battered and bruised by circumstance and I have to learn to live with the scars. Perhaps it is my expectation that life should be comfortable that is causing me the most hassle - I don't want to be injured, but injured is what has occurred.

Am I thinking too much? Probably.

Just as it is

Identify the natural poise of being - not forcing, not drifting, but the supple middle ground. Things come, things go. We are up, we are down. Good days, bad days. Life marches on regardless.

Just sit

There's a lot of variations on how to do meditation practice and what to focus the attention on, and this can lead to a kind of overloaded mental approach where the mind is filled with questions. This leads away from meditation. Indeed, what we practice when we sit there thinking is the ability to sit there thinking!

So then, abandon conceptual thoughts and just sit instead. Follow the breath in, follow the breath out. Sit, sit, sit. If you sit for long enough you might be aware of a place in the mind where there is "no language". Aim for "no language" and infuse your whole presence into your sitting posture. Be proud of just sitting. Empty the mind of concepts and let the sitting posture flow through you.

When I am breathing there is just the breath

You might like to try this thought out when you take your next breath, which I am confident will be within the next minute or so. See if you can let go of the person who is thinking the thoughts and be there for the breath - in and out, like a bellows on automatic pilot.

I tried it and managed a momentary fragment of peace.

We are all looking for relief

After putting myself through the mincer for a bit, my thoughts fell upon the word 'relief'. The question was:

Relief from what?

The answer seemed to be:

My mind.

Then I realised that I spend a lot of my life trying to getting relief from one mind state or another and that there's something great about eating a chocolate cake to get some relief but that's a bit like hiding a hole in the wall with a pretty picture.

No peace in stillness

I guess I'm learning that I'm never going to arrive at a place where something is ever finished. I find that with art, with this blog, with meditation, and with my illness situation. Things are just on going. Done is never done, it's just a moment in a process that keeps chugging along. We can't deny that life is happening.

So then, a bit more feel good blogging. The sun, the spiders, and well being from the beginning of time.