Showing posts from December, 2011

Things change - know this well

It never ceases to amaze me how deep the reality of knowing change goes. We might think we know it, but then as we get older it keeps getting deeper and deeper into our view things until it seems totally incredible that we never saw it in the first place. Change messes with our well-being:

- We cannot control our experience
- We rely on constancy
- We are thrilled by change and the havoc it brings
- Our efforts to contain experience bring struggle
- Things happen
- Life goes on because it does

When we experience sudden change first hand, it is like having a hole ripped in our view of the way things should be. We are forced to grow up in an instant and we are left with a pile of disjointed realities. A world of hurt people opens up and our heart is wrenched into a multitude of sorrows. There is no hiding place. We become 'one of those unfortunates'.

How to feel good in the midst of change? That's not so easy. Perhaps that is the wrong question to be asking.

The sun is shining (and other gratitudes)

I am above the water
I have my basic needs met
I have enough
I know what happiness is
I can look after myself
Pleasure is not reliant of circumstance
I have enough to eat
I have enough freedom to relax
I have the chance to begin again

Purify the mind

I'm not going to attempt to explain what purification of the mind is because:

a) it's not simple
b) we have our own idea of what this is

All I know is that when I have a clean, smooth running mind then:

a) I have more energy
b) the days are easier to get through

The trick then is to aim to purify the mind everyday and keep it from getting clogged up and generally muddy. Hold moments of purity and stillness in the mind and then soak them into the body. Use the calm, relaxed body to soak into the mind. Gently move between the body and mind. Focus on the clean sensation of effortless presence and take your next moment from there.

Chronic fatigue - forward, forward, backward, backward

One thing I'm slowly learning is that it takes a long, long time to make progress with a chronic fatigue illness and that any progress you do make can be wiped out in a moment - tricky to live with you might muse. So, we go forwards a bit and then we go backwards a bit, and we have our minds and emotions to deal with. I remember a quote from Thoreau (I might have misremembered) where he states that he was "perfectly ill" - meaning his illness was his illness and it was perfect just the way it was. A lot of the trouble comes with the mind resisting the illness. You know the score: it shouldn't be like this, not this again, I'm not sure I can take much more of this. This is reactivity and makes things a whole lot worse than they should be.

This is the thing to look out for then. Your illness has flared up again - how are you reacting to it? What assumptions has it upturned? Was is it saying about you? What life had you been building around your magical recovery? Ke…

Right mindfulness

Relaxed, attentive, kind, warm awareness.

Not judging.

Awareness that is detached from the actual goings on of my thoughts and bodily sensations - not me, not mine, you beautiful thing.

Awake without seeing.