Letting go of struggle

I have a great deal of struggle in my life and it's intensely annoying when I get stuck in a cycle of difficulties (as I touched upon here onset, struggle, etc). It is quite demanding when I get caught but when I do manage to let go of struggle it is like being released from a set of chains; quite a pleasant experience but not one that is easy to achieve. There is, unfortunately, a process to be lived through.

When we struggle with our experience, we have a tendency to make it worse. We are trying to use our will power to overcome what is going on and, in some small way, we are trying to exert control. Perhaps this has been an effective strategy in the past, but ultimately it is energy sapping and unpleasant. Let's not beat ourselves up about it - there is something instinctual about struggle - if we fall into quicksand our gut reaction is to struggle to get out but this only makes things worse. We have to learn patience and perserverence to get through - some might call it wisdom.

So here we are with our situation - difficulty occurs, we struggle with it, it gets worse. When we have limited resources it blows our circuits. We need to recognise that we are struggling and let go (not give up) a little bit - this is what is going on, I am not going to fight it. Let reality play itself out - I am overwhelmed, it will last days. We settle into our 'not fighting' energy level (perhaps we are familiar with this sense of laissez faire from our previous nightmares). We find areas where things are not so bad - my body is holding up, the sun is shining, this part of my face is not a knotted mess. We look for the good and hang out there instead - I am OK, I can find OKness even if this part of my life is not presenting me with ease and well being. And at some point we feel relaxed enough in our mind to let go of struggle in a deep cathartic manner, like a snake shedding skin. Then we begin again.

I have more to say on this topic but that'll do for now. Letting go is quite a big deal.

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